"All this B B B all the time. Write something original"

@Anonymous-Frog

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

"Good day Newgrounds! Quick heads-up, the previous editor of the Tank Tribune got into a shark-farming accident last Tuesday leaving behind a 30% unfinished paper. As the editor of the only other newspaper on Newgrounds, @TankmanTriweekly, I have no other choice but to take his place in order to get this issue out in time. Conveniently, I am also a proud member of the legendary Clock Crew, who turns 20 today. This issue is dedicated to everyone at the Clock Crew, especially Flounderman"

@Anonymous-Frog

If you have no idea who the Clock Crew are, no idea why you don't, then watch this origin story.

THEME SONG BY @shpongled1

FEATURED COMPOSERS

@CrustClock @OrangeClock @ThatJohnnyGuy @Anonymous-Frog @CabbageClock @BeepBoxClock @OctopusClock @LexRodent @wdk9 @ParableBox

I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP, MADDY! STRAWBERRYCLOCK RECALLS VISIT TO FORSAKEN CITY.

Our King of the Portal StrawberryClock once tried to climb to the top of the tallest mountain he could find. Here's what he had to say during his expedition:

"Climbing this mountain was going to be the most gruelling challenge I'd ever enounter. Even though none of the obstacles in the way can kill StrawberryClock, I got tired pretty quickly, and as usual I sprout wings and sleep in the air. And all of a sudden, this young lass picks me up and stuffs me in her pack. I swear sleeping in someone else’s backpack is not the most comfortable. Inside were hormone pills and other strawberries shaking around as she presumably climbed with superhuman athletic abilities.

When I woke up, she was already at the top. You know I could’ve done that myself, now I have to do it all over again!”

TOM FULP SUDDENLY REPLACED WITH PLUSHIE

@Yarn created a one-to-one replica of Tom Fulp using her favourite material. So realistic it left her house and won the GDC Pioneer Award.

This week's featured artist is @CorpseGrinderClock! Check out his works below!

Chirp

CorpseGrinderClock

Originally posted to Newgrounds on May 13th, 2007, duck.fla became a big phenomenon, with several users creating remixes and tributes and winning Underdog of the Week. Unfortunately on May 17th, it was removed from the Portal.

Dwarfinator later restored duck.fla by replacing the SWF of one of his older Flashes (as seen above), so you can still learn its true significance.

STORIES

CLOCK COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT HENTAI MEANS

One day, a clock (who we won't name due to embarassment) was about to watch a clock movie (again not naming in order to not embarass them), and saw one of the tags that said 'hentai'. Unbeknownst to them, there was no hentai, it was a live performance of some metal music.

"I swear I didn't know what they were talking about. Next time I hung around with my friends, one of them asked if we were going to watch some hentai together. I accepted, still thinking it meant what I saw in that flash. No it didn't, I got the shock of my life and immediately broke into tears.

You know what? I actually feel better about it now. Here's the movie."

I CAN'T STOP ORDERING SHARKS:

CabbageClock admits to have ordered at least two sharks a week, even though he knows full well how cruel the industry can be. "Yes, shark farming accidents are a serious matter, yes the entire shark industry can put entire lives at risk, but every now and then my friends come over for dinner and nine out of ten, they want shark meat. I can't say no for an answer"

Cabbage is considering stealing the sharks from corporate-owned farms in order to not contribute to the problem

STORES AND SUPERMARKETS NOW GUARANTEED TO SHOOT TO KILL.

"Not only is that Flounderman bugging us, but now Flounder stans are doing it too!"

Random cashier

QUOTES OF THE VICENNIAL

can't you hold it till we get home joey

@summerskoo: Let both his wallet and willy leak

Fucked up beyond the east border

@Anonymous-Frog: self-inserts quotes just to fill a quota.

If you put in more than 50 dollars worth of effort you aren't doing it right.Unless you did it to make it look like you didn't put in that much effort in which case you ARE doing it right.

@FloundermanClock: morally financially and figuratively more bankrupt than this entire newspaper.

Being a white Irish Jew I didn't think anyone could be whiter than I. You have proven me wrong sir.

@The-Great-One: Can't get enough of his own quotes on the paper.

Heavy blocks, shoes, killing turtles... Holy shit. Mario? ON DA BBS?

@GlassPen123: Found his way onto the wrong page.

The User of the Day for the 20th Clock Day is @AlexiaVoice

I pledge to follow him/her/them and vote 5 on all their animations/games/audio/art

Let's look at all the favourites of our fellow readers. To celebrate 20 years of B, we're going to look at some of the flash that most likely got the King of the Portal @StrawberryClock inspired to make B. I hope you will appreciate them just as much as he did.

After that, we have some of the favourites that got the rest of the Crew going through the day: (two from those listed below)

@AppleClock, @OrangeClock, @RupeeClock, @CorpseGrinderClock, @Pop-Tart, @D-VaClock @AnonymousFrogClock, @FloundermanClock, @Ushnor (ThorClock), @Yarn

The Clock Crew Favorite Movies and Games

IT'S CLOCK DAY! VOTE 5 AND READ THE TANKMAN TRIWEEKLY!

[ TANKMAN TRIWEEKLY | SUPPORT NEWGROUNDS ]

HAPPY CLOCK DAYGO TO TEH PORTAL AND VOTE 5!